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1 Unit 4 Marriage Part A Pre listening Task Questions for Discussion 1 What do you think of marriage Do you think a happy marriage is the most important thing in your life 2 What kind of person do you want to marry What are your standards in choosing a life companion 3 What do you think is crucial for a happy marriage 4 What usually causes troubles in a marriage 5 Do you think differences between husband and wife are unavoidable If you do could you suggest some ways for them to deal with the problem 6 Have you heard of marriage agreements Do you think a couple should sign a marriage agreement before getting married Additional Question for Discussion Do young men and young women have the same standards in choosing a spouse If not why not Language Focus Here are some sentences and structures that you may find useful in discussing the above questions Both men and women consider marriage a very important part of their lives Most men would like their spouses to be young and beautiful Others consider inner beauty more important When a woman chooses her spouse she often puts emphasis on his character temperament education profession income appearance family background Some young women today consider of great importance in choosing a boyfriend life companion Happiness in marriage does not depend on material wealth Marriages based on mutual love create a happy and harmonious atmosphere in the family Mutual respect and understanding between husband and wife contribute much to a happy marriage Education is an important condition for a good marriage because a couple whose educational levels do not match may not have much to say to each other have constant arguments over family issues big or small A marriage based on romantic love alone will not necessarily last long for a sense of responsibility is also essential to a successful marriage I would marry someone who loves me and cares for me most I would marry someone who is generous intelligent ambitious broad minded considerate good looking kind hearted humorous I wouldn t like to marry someone who is too money conscious stingy selfish hot tempered narrow minded rude impolite possessive 2 Each individual is unique and differences between husband and wife are therefore unavoidable a rule rather than an exception It s very important for husband and wife to show appreciation of each other talk and get to know what his or her partner expects A marriage agreement sounds too practical lacks romantic flavor reduces marriage to mere business I think a written marriage agreement shows how much you and your partner are going to respect each other s needs and expectations promises a harmonious relationship in married life Trouble starts in a marriage when one partner keeps complaining about small things making the other feel resentful Constantly criticizing your partner and his or her family gives rise to troubles in may destroy a marriage Lack of understanding tolerance over differences may bring troubles to a marriage cause a marriage to fail Part B Listening Tasks Conversation 1 A Marriage Agreement Part One Word Bank outline v to describe briefly with few details 概述 spouse n a husband or wife 配偶 pet a denoting a thing that one feels particularly strongly about 格外的 極其的 peeve n sth that annoys you 惹人生氣的事物 bug v American slang to annoy to irritate 激怒 article n a section of a legal agreement that deals with a particular point 協(xié)議的條款 pet peeve sth that you strongly dislike because it always annoys you 格外惹人生氣的事 Script Tom and Linda have signed a marriage agreement Both agree not to break the rules outlined in the agreement John a reporter is talking to them about the agreement John Tom Linda first I d like to ask you why you decided to write this unusual agreement Tom We found that many problems are caused when a person has different expectations from his or her spouse We wanted to talk about everything openly and honestly before we started living together Linda Also we both know how important it is to respect each other s pet peeves Like I can get very annoyed if others leave stuff clothing papers everything lying around on the floor It really bugged me so we put that in the agreement John This is mentioned in Article 1 Cleaning Up isn t it It says Nothing will be left on the floor overnight Everything must be cleaned up and put away before going to bed Tom Then I ll know clearly what Linda s expectations are 3 John I see What about Article 2 Sleeping It says We will go to bed at 11 p m and get up at 6 30 a m except on weekends I m sure some people hearing this will think that this agreement isn t very romantic Tom Well we disagree We think it s very romantic This agreement shows that we sat down and talked and really tried to understand the other person A lot of problems occur in a marriage when people don t talk about what they want Linda That s right When we disagreed about something we worked out a solution that was good for both of us I would much rather have Tom really listen to me and understand my needs than give me a bunch of flowers or a box of candy Exercise 1 Listen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear 1 Which statement best summarizes the marriage agreement between Tom and Linda a It is a set of rules that will restrict their personal freedom to a certain extent b It is a set of rules that will enable them to live up to each other s expectations c It is a set of rules that will prevent them from getting a divorce d It is a set of rules that will save their marriage 2 According to Tom what will give rise to problems in a marriage a Different interests b Different pet peeves c Different expectations d Different sleeping habits 3 What can be inferred about Linda from the conversation a She is sensible and well organized b She doesn t like flowers or candy very much c She is too practical to be a good wife d She is quick tempered and domineering Exercise 2 Listen to the conversation again and complete the answers to the following questions 1 Why did Tom and Linda decide to sign the agreement Because they wanted to understand each other s expectations so that potential problems could be avoided and they could live happily together 2 What is Article 1 about Cleaning up Everything must be cleaned up and put away before going to bed 3 What is Article 2 about Sleeping Time for bed 11 p m time to get up 6 30 a m except on weekends Conversation 2 A Marriage Agreement Part Two Word Bank update v to make sth up to date 更新 make it up to become friends again after a quarrel 爭吵后和解 figure out to work out the solution to a problem 想出 4 Script John Linda do you spend a lot of time checking to see if the other person is following the rules Arguing Linda No not at all Tom A lot of couples argue because they don t understand each other s expectations I think we spend less time arguing than most couples because we both know what the other person expects John What happens if one of you breaks a rule Tom Well that s in Article 13 of our agreement John Is it Oh yes Article 13 Breaking Rules If you break a rule you must apologize and do something nice for the other person to make it up Linda Yeah like last time Tom broke the rule of driving John What s the rule Linda The rule is we must ask for directions if we are driving and get lost for more than five minutes John What happened Tom We were driving to a friend s wedding and we got lost Linda wanted to stop at a gas station to ask for directions but I thought I could figure it out Linda Then we drove forty miles in the wrong direction and ended up being late for the wedding Tom So I took her out to dinner I knew what I should do to apologize John That s very important I think knowing how to apologize By the way do you plan to update your agreement at all What if things change in your life and a rule doesn t work anymore Linda We ve thought about that too Article 14 states that we must review this agreement once a year and make necessary changes John Well it was really nice talking to you both Thank you very much for your time Tom Linda Thank you Exercise 1 Listen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear 1 How many articles are probably in Tom and Linda s marriage agreement a 12 b 13 c 14 d 15 2 How do Tom and Linda feel about their marriage agreement a Linda is not very happy with some of the articles in the agreement b Tom thinks some of the articles in the agreement are too strict c Both Tom and Linda are satisfied with it d Both Tom and Linda are not satisfied with it and they want to make a lot of changes to it 3 What will happen to their marriage agreement in a year s time a They will review the articles and make changes to update them b They will sit down and write out a new agreement 5 c They will not make any changes to the agreement d They will not need it anymore as they are both familiar with its contents Exercise 2 Listen to the conversation again and complete the answers to the following questions 1 What is stated in the rule of driving It is stated that if they get lost for more than five minutes when they are driving they must stop and ask for directions 2 What is Article 13 about What does it say Article 13 is about breaking rules The article says If you break a rule you must apologize and do something nice for the other person to make it up 3 What is Article 14 about What is stated in the agreement It is about reviewing the contents of the agreement It states that they must review this agreement once a year and make necessary changes Speaking Tasks Pair Work Debating Arguments for or against giving first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse A Sample Nowadays some young people give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse Are you for or against this standard in choosing a spouse Express and defend your views from the perspectives given in the card below Topic Is it right to give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse Perspectives 1 From the perspective of a student positive 2 From the perspective of a social worker negative Possible Arguments for reference From the perspective of a student positive I think it is very natural for people to give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse We all know how important money is Without money we can hardly do anything Lack of money in a marriage will cause problems to the couple Even though the couple may have married for love being always hard pressed for money love will soon be replaced by quarrels and endless worries over money matters If this happens can they live happily together So I think it is very important to first consider if your future spouse is able to share the responsibility of supporting a family If not just wait From the perspective of a social worker negative 6 Nowadays some young people consider economic status the most important factor when they choose a spouse They think money can bring everything they want like a big apartment a car or a trip abroad However can these material things really ensure happiness I don t think so A marriage based solely on material wealth will not necessarily be a happy one Countless examples have shown that rich people often have unsuccessful marriages A happy marriage is built on a deep love and affection between husband and wife which cannot be bought by money Now use the above sample as your model and carry on similar activities with your partner Topic Is it right to give first priority to a university degree in choosing a spouse Perspectives 1 From the perspective of some students positive 2 From the perspective of some other students negative Some Ideas for Reference The Argument positive 1 A university degree is the first thing I d consider when I choose my life companion I think two people with very different educational backgrounds would have problems in communication 2 A person with a university degree has been exposed to a wide range of knowledge is well educated 3 What great pleasure it is to spend your life with someone who can share your enjoyment of music art and literature or discuss with you all sorts of subjects from the beauty of nature to aliens in outer space new advances in science and technology 4 A well educated person tends to be more cultured and more understanding which will ensure happiness in a marriage 5 A well educated person is more likely to have a good career 6 A university degree is almost a must in the competitive job market nowadays Therefore a good educational background is key to a successful career which will bring harmony and security to family life The Counter argument negative 1 I don t think a university degree is so important in choosing one s life companion Personality is the first thing I would take into consideration when I choose a spouse 2 To my mind affection honesty generosity kindness sympathy and courage are the qualities I value more 3 I think a person s moral virtue is very important and it is not decided by the amount of school education he or she has received 4 A university degree does not necessarily bring happiness to a marriage Mutual affection and understanding are key to a happy marriage 5 A person with a university degree is not necessarily well educated It depends on how much effort she or he made while at college 7 6 I believe in love love at first sight I d like to marry the person I love and together we can pursue the dreams of our life 7 I don t think a university degree can ensure success in a career Experience is sometimes more important than formal education As a matter of fact many entrepreneurs in China haven t even received secondary education Their success actually relies on their unusual personality and opportunities available Part C Test Your Listening A Conversation Listen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear 1 Which of the following is true of the woman s husband a He doesn t share housework at home b He doesn t know how to put things in order c He doesn t care for his wife and children d He s lazy and rude 2 What do you know about the woman a She s just got a job b She earns a lot of money c She does most of the housework at home d She has bad relations with her husband 3 What does the man think of the woman s complaints a He thinks the woman s husband is lazy and messy b He doesn t want to pass judgment on the woman s husband c He thinks the woman complains too much d He thinks the woman should ask her husband to share the housework Script M Ah come in Barbara Take a seat How have things been W Oh much the same I still seem to have quarrels with my husband all the time M What do you quarrel about W Oh everything You see he never thinks of my feelings M Go on W Well I ll give you an example You know when the children started school I wanted to go back to work again too So I got a job Well anyway by the time I ve collected Gary and Lucy from school I only get home about half an hour before he comes back M Yes W Well when he gets home he expects me to run around and get his tea He never does anything in the house M Mm W And last Friday he invited three of his friends to come around for a drink He didn t tell me to expect them and I d had a long and difficult day I don t think that s right do you M Well I m not here to pass judgment I m here to listen 8 W Sorry And he s so untidy He s worse than the kids I always have to remind him to pick up his clothes He just throws his clothes on the floor After all I m not his servant I ve got my own career Actually I think that s part of the trouble You see I earn as much money as he does