《《大學(xué)英語(yǔ)教程》第三冊(cè)課文翻譯.doc》由會(huì)員分享，可在線閱讀，更多相關(guān)《《大學(xué)英語(yǔ)教程》第三冊(cè)課文翻譯.doc（42頁(yè)珍藏版）》請(qǐng)?jiān)谘b配圖網(wǎng)上搜索。

Unit1 TextA There was once a town in the heart of America where all life seemed to live in harmony with its surroundings. The town lay in the midst of a checkerboard of prosperous farms, with fields of grain and hillsides of orchards where, in spring, white clouds of bloom drifted above the green fields. In autumn, oak and maple and birch set up a blaze of color that flamed and flickered across a backdrop of pines. Then foxes barked in the hills and deer silently crossed the fields, half hidden in the mists of the fall mornings. 從前在美國(guó)中心有一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)，那里的萬(wàn)物看上去都與其四周的環(huán)境融洽相處。小鎮(zhèn)的四周是像棋盤(pán)交錯(cuò)的生意盎然的農(nóng)莊，還有一塊塊的田地和一座座遍布山坡的果園。春天來(lái)了，白色的鮮花云彩般地漂浮在田野上；秋天到了，橡樹(shù)、楓樹(shù)和樺樹(shù)色彩斑斕，在一片松樹(shù)林間火焰般地燃燒與跳躍。小山上狐貍吠叫，田野間小鹿靜靜地躍過(guò)，所有的一切都在秋天清晨的薄霧中半隱半現(xiàn)。 Along the roads, laurel, viburnum and alder, great ferns and wildflowers delighted the travelers eye through much of the year. Even in winter the roadsides were places of beauty, where countless birds came to feed on the berries and on the seed heads of the dried weeds rising above the snow. The countryside was, in fact, famous for the abundance and variety of its bird life, and when the flood of migrants was pouring through in spring and fall people traveled from great distances to observe them. Others came to fish the streams, which flowed clear and cold out of the hills and contained shady pools where trout lay. So it had been from the days many years ago when the first settlers raised their houses, sank their wells, and built their barns. 在路的兩旁，一年中許多時(shí)候，月桂樹(shù)、莢蓮、榿木、蕨類(lèi)植物和各樣的野花都能讓過(guò)往的行人賞心悅目。即使是冬天，路邊的景色依舊是美不勝收，那里無(wú)數(shù)的小鳥(niǎo)來(lái)覓取漿果莓和露在雪地上的枯枝上的種子。事實(shí)上，這鄉(xiāng)村正是由于鳥(niǎo)類(lèi)的數(shù)量和種類(lèi)之繁多而出名的。在候鳥(niǎo)群潮涌而來(lái)的春秋季節(jié)，人們從大老遠(yuǎn)的地方慕名前來(lái)欣賞。還有的人來(lái)這里的小溪垂釣。清冽的溪水從山中流出，溪水中有許多鱒魚(yú)藏身的背陰的水潭。所以，從許多年前開(kāi)始，第一批居住者就在這里蓋房挖井，搭起了自己的谷倉(cāng)。 Then a strange blight crept over the area and everything began to change. Some evil spell had settled on the community: mysterious maladies swept the flocks of chickens; the cattle and sheep sickened and died. Everywhere was a shadow of death. The farmers spoke of much illness among their families. In the town the doctors had become more and more puzzled by new kinds of sickness appearing among their patients. There had been several sudden and unexplained deaths, not only among adults but even among children, who would be stricken suddenly while at play and die within a few hours. 后來(lái)，一種奇怪的摧毀力悄然襲擊了這個(gè)地區(qū)，所有的一切都開(kāi)始變了。某種邪惡的符咒籠罩了這個(gè)社區(qū)：神秘的疾病攻擊了雞群，牛、羊也紛紛病死，到處都有一層死亡的陰影。農(nóng)夫們談?wù)撝抑械脑S多疾病；鎮(zhèn)上的醫(yī)生也越來(lái)越因病人中出現(xiàn)的新的病癥而感到迷惑。在成人和孩子中發(fā)生了好幾起突發(fā)的不明其由的死亡，那些孩子在玩耍中突然病倒，幾小時(shí)后就死去了。 There was a strange stillness. The birds, for example - where had they gone? Many people spoke of them, puzzled and disturbed. The feeding stations in the backyards were deserted. The few birds seen anywhere were moribund; they trembled violently and could not fly. It was a spring without voices. On the mornings that had once throbbed with the dawn chorus of robins, catbirds, doves, jays, wrens, and scores of other bird voices there was now no sound; only silence lay over the fields and woods and marsh. 這里是一派奇怪的寂靜。就說(shuō)鳥(niǎo)兒們吧---它們都去哪兒了？許多人說(shuō)起鳥(niǎo)兒的時(shí)候都充滿(mǎn)了迷惑與不安。他們后院的飼養(yǎng)站已經(jīng)沒(méi)有鳥(niǎo)兒光顧了。隨處能見(jiàn)到的幾只鳥(niǎo)都奄奄一息。他們猛烈地顫抖，卻飛不起來(lái)。這是一個(gè)無(wú)聲的春天。曾經(jīng)是震動(dòng)著畫(huà)眉鳥(niǎo)、貓鳥(niǎo)、鴿子、樫鳥(niǎo)、歐鷦和許多鳥(niǎo)兒的黎明合唱聲的清晨如今卻寂然無(wú)聲。田野間、樹(shù)林中和沼澤地里也是一片寂靜。 On the farms the hens brooded, but no chicks hatched. The farmers complained that they were unable to raise any pigs - the litters were small and the young survived only a few days. The apple trees were coming into bloom but no bees droned among the blossoms, so there was no pollination and there would be no fruit. 在農(nóng)莊，母雞下蛋卻孵不出小雞。農(nóng)夫們抱怨無(wú)法養(yǎng)豬，因?yàn)閯偵碌呢i崽太小了，小豬也只能活幾天的功夫。蘋(píng)果樹(shù)開(kāi)花了，可是沒(méi)有蜜蜂在花叢中嗡嗡地采蜜，沒(méi)有蜜蜂的授粉，也就沒(méi)有任何果子。 The roadsides, once so attractive, were now lined with browned and withered vegetation as though swept by fire. These, too, were silent, deserted by all living things. Even the streams were now lifeless. Anglers no longer visited them, for all the fish had died. 曾經(jīng)是如此迷人的路旁如今卻鋪著黑黑的枯干的草木，仿佛是被一場(chǎng)大火燒過(guò)一般。那里也是一片寂靜，因?yàn)樗械纳锒歼z棄了它。即使是溪流中也沒(méi)有了生命。因?yàn)樗械聂~(yú)都已經(jīng)死了，垂釣者也就不再來(lái)了。 In the gutters under the eaves and between the shingles of the roofs, a white granular powder still showed a few patches; some weeks before it had fallen like snow upon the roofs and the lawns, the fields and streams. 在屋檐下的天溝里，屋頂?shù)哪就咧g仍舊可見(jiàn)幾片白色的粒狀的粉末。幾個(gè)星期之前，它像白雪一樣灑在了屋頂上、草地上、田野里和溪流里。 No witchcraft, no enemy action had silenced the rebirth of new life in this stricken world. The people had done it themselves. 在這個(gè)遭受襲擊的地球上，沒(méi)有巫術(shù)，也沒(méi)有敵人的行動(dòng)抑制了新生命的復(fù)蘇；這一切都是人自身造成的。 Since the mid-1940s, over 500 basic chemicals have been created for use in killing insects, weeds, rodents, and other organisms described in the modern vernacular as "pests", and they are sold under thousand different brand names. 自20世紀(jì)40年代中期起，人們制造了500多種基本的化學(xué)藥品來(lái)殺死在現(xiàn)代語(yǔ)言中被稱(chēng)作"害蟲(chóng)"的昆蟲(chóng)、雜草、嚙齒動(dòng)物和其他的生物體，以幾千種的品牌名稱(chēng)來(lái)出售它們。 These sprays, dusts, and aerosols are now applied almost universally to farms, gardens, forests, and homes - nonselective chemicals that have the power to kill every insect, the "good" and the "bad," to still the song of birds and the leaping of fish in the streams, to coat the leaves with a deadly film, and to linger on in soil - all this though the intended target may be only a few weeds or insects. Can anyone believe it is possible to lay down such a barrage of poisons on the surface of the earth without making it unfit for all life? 這些液體噴劑、粉末和霧狀噴劑現(xiàn)在幾乎普遍使用于農(nóng)莊、花園、森林和家庭。非選擇性的化學(xué)藥品能殺死每只昆蟲(chóng)（不管是"好"的還是"壞"的），能使鳥(niǎo)兒不再歌唱，溪流中的魚(yú)兒不再跳躍，能在樹(shù)葉上覆蓋一層致命的薄膜，并能存留在土地中。而造成這一切的預(yù)定的目標(biāo)可能僅僅是一些雜草和昆蟲(chóng)。難道真的有人認(rèn)為，我們?cè)诘厍虻谋砻嫒鱿氯绱硕嗟亩舅?，同時(shí)還能使它繼續(xù)成為一個(gè)任何生命都能存活的地方嗎？ This town does not actually exist, but it might easily have a thousand counterparts in America or elsewhere in the world. I know of no community that has experienced all the misfortunes I describe. Yet every one of these disasters has actually happened somewhere, and many real communities have already suffered a substantial number of them. A grim specter has crept upon us almost unnoticed, and this imagined tragedy may easily become a stark reality we all shall know. 這個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)事實(shí)上并不存在，但是在美國(guó)或地球的別的地方我們能輕易地找到一千個(gè)與它對(duì)應(yīng)的地方。我知道沒(méi)有一個(gè)社區(qū)經(jīng)歷了我所描述的所有不幸，但是其中的每一個(gè)災(zāi)難都已經(jīng)在某個(gè)地方發(fā)生了，許多社區(qū)已經(jīng)遭受了相當(dāng)多的災(zāi)難。一個(gè)冷酷的幽靈幾乎是在不經(jīng)意間已悄悄向我們走來(lái)了，而這個(gè)想像的悲劇也許很容易就成為一個(gè)我們都應(yīng)該知道的嚴(yán)酷的事實(shí)。 TextB Water must also be thought of in terms of the chains of life it supports - from the small-as-dust green cells of the drifting plant plankton, through the minute water fleas to the fishes that strain plankton from the water and are in turn eaten by other fishes or by birds, mink, raccoons- in an endless cyclic transfer of materials from life to life. We know that the necessary minerals in the water are so passed from link to link of the food chains. Can we suppose that poisons we introduce into water will not also enter into these cycles of nature? 我們考慮水的時(shí)候必須想到它所維持的生命鏈：從一個(gè)漂浮著的浮游植物塵土般微小的綠色細(xì)胞，通過(guò)細(xì)小的水蚤進(jìn)入到那些將浮游生物從水中濾出的魚(yú)，它們自身又被其他的魚(yú)或者鳥(niǎo)、貂、浣熊所吃，這就是一個(gè)無(wú)止境的從生命到生命的物質(zhì)的循環(huán)傳輸。既然我們知道水中必需的礦物質(zhì)是從食物鏈中的一環(huán)傳給一環(huán)的，我們?cè)跄苷J(rèn)為投入水中的毒藥不會(huì)也進(jìn)入這些自然的循環(huán)中呢？ The answer is to be found in the amazing history of Clear Lake, California. Clear Lake lies in mountainous country some 90 miles north of San Francisco and has long been popular with anglers. The name is inappropriate, for actually it is a rather turbid lake because of the soft black ooze that covers its shallow bottom. Unfortunately for the fishermen and the resort dwellers on its shores, its waters have provided an ideal habitat for a small gnat, Chaoborus astictopus. Although closely related to mosquitoes, the gnat is not a bloodsucker and probably does not feed at all as an adult. However, human beings who shared its habitat found it annoying because of its sheer numbers. Efforts were made to control it but they were largely fruitless until, in the late 1940s, the chlorinated hydrocarbon insecticides offered new weapons. The chemical chosen for a fresh attack was DDD, a close relative of DDT but apparently offering fewer threats to fish life. 答案就在位于加利福尼亞州的清水湖的令人驚異的歷史中。清水湖位于舊金山北大約90英里處的山村，很久以來(lái)一直很受垂釣者的歡迎。不過(guò)，這名字并不恰當(dāng)，因?yàn)樗鋵?shí)是個(gè)相當(dāng)混濁不清的湖，淺淺的湖底鋪滿(mǎn)了黑色的軟泥漿。但是對(duì)于漁民和居住在岸邊的度假勝地的人來(lái)說(shuō)不幸的是，湖水為一種名叫幽靈蚊的小昆蟲(chóng)提供了理想的棲息處。這種昆蟲(chóng)雖然與蚊子緊密相關(guān)，但是它并不吸血，而且成年后可能就不攝入食物了。然而，與它共處一地的人類(lèi)還是僅僅因?yàn)檫@種蟲(chóng)子的數(shù)量驚人而感到惱火。雖然他們使用了各種方法來(lái)控制，但是基本上都是毫無(wú)成效。直到20世紀(jì)40年代末，氯化碳?xì)浠衔餁⑾x(chóng)劑提供了新的武器。他們選擇作為新一輪進(jìn)攻的化學(xué)藥品叫DDD，它是DDT的一個(gè)近親，但是對(duì)魚(yú)類(lèi)的生存威脅似乎小些。 The new control measures undertaken in 1949 were carefully planned and few people would have supposed any harm could result. The lake was surveyed, its volume determined, and the insecticide applied in such great dilution that for every part of chemical there would be 70 million parts of water. Control of the gnats was at first good, but by 1954 the treatment had to be repeated, this time at the rate of one part of insecticide in 50 million parts of water. The destruction of the gnats was thought to be virtually complete. 1949年采取的新的控制措施事先經(jīng)過(guò)了仔細(xì)的計(jì)劃，很少有人認(rèn)為它會(huì)造成什么傷害。人們勘查了湖泊，測(cè)定了體積，又將殺蟲(chóng)劑在水中經(jīng)過(guò)了70，000，000:1的大比例的稀釋后才付諸使用。這對(duì)小昆蟲(chóng)的控制一開(kāi)始不錯(cuò)，但是到了1954年這種處理不得不再重復(fù)一次，而這一次則是按50，000，000:1的比例使用的。如此，人們認(rèn)為對(duì)昆蟲(chóng)的摧毀已基本告成了。 The following winter months brought the first intimation that other life was affected: the western grebes on the lake began to die, and soon more than a hundred of them were reported dead. At Clear Lake the western grebe is a breeding bird and also a winter visitant, attracted by the abundant fish of the lake. It is a bird of spectacular appearance and beguiling habits, building its floating nests in shallow lakes of western United States and Canada. It is called the "swan grebe" with reason, for it glides with scarcely a ripple across the lake surface, the body riding low, white neck and shining black head held high. The newly hatched chick is clothed in soft gray down; in only a few hours it takes to the water and rides on the back of the father or mother, nestled under the parental wing coverts. 接下來(lái)的冬季使人們第一次意識(shí)到其他生命也受到影響了：湖上的西開(kāi)始死去，不久又有一百多只死了。西被清水湖中大量的魚(yú)吸引，在此繁殖，冬天又來(lái)此棲息。這種鳥(niǎo)有著漂亮的外觀和迷人的習(xí)性，在美國(guó)西部和加拿大的淺水湖中筑造它們漂浮的巢。它被稱(chēng)作"燕子"是有道理的，因?yàn)樗^(guò)湖面時(shí)幾乎不漾起一點(diǎn)微波，身體壓得低低的，脖頸潔白，油黑發(fā)亮的頭高高地?fù)P著。剛剛孵出的小鳥(niǎo)渾身披著柔軟的灰色絨毛，幾個(gè)小時(shí)以后它就喜歡上了湖水，伏在爸爸媽媽的背上，依偎在它們的翅膀底下。 Following a third assault on the ever-resilient gnat population, in 1957, more grebes died. As had been true in 1954, no evidence of infectious disease could be discovered on examination of the dead birds. But when some thought to analyze the fatty tissues of the grebes, they were found to be loaded with DDD in the extraordinary concentration of 1600 parts per million. 接著，對(duì)總是能恢復(fù)原數(shù)目的小昆蟲(chóng)發(fā)動(dòng)了第三次攻擊后，1957年，更多的西死去了。正如1954年的情況一樣，對(duì)死鳥(niǎo)的檢查中，沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)傳染病的證據(jù)。但是當(dāng)有人想到要對(duì)它們的脂肪組織進(jìn)行分析時(shí)，卻在那兒找到了1600:1，000，000的高濃度的DDD。 The maximum concentration applied to the water was 1/50 part per million. How could the chemical have built up to such prodigious levels in the grebes? These birds, of course, are fish eaters. When the fish of Clear Lake also were analyzed the picture began to take form - the poison being picked up by the smallest organisms, concentrated and passed on to the larger predators. Plankton organisms were found to contain about 5 parts per million of the insecticide (about 250 times the maximum concentration ever reached in the water itself); plant-eating fishes had built up accumulations ranging from 40 to 300 parts per million; carnivorous species had stored the most of all. One, a brown bullhead, had the astounding concentration of 2500 parts per million. It was a house-that-Jack-built sequence, in which the large carnivores had eaten the smaller carnivores, that had eaten the herbivores, that had eaten the plankton, that had absorbed the poison from the water. 投放湖水中的最高濃度是1/50:1，000，000，那藥品又是如何在西體中積累到如此高的濃度呢？這些鳥(niǎo)當(dāng)然是食魚(yú)的。當(dāng)人們又分析了清水湖中的魚(yú)類(lèi)后，實(shí)情開(kāi)始變得清晰了：最小的有機(jī)體攝入了毒藥，集中后又傳給更大的捕食動(dòng)物。浮游生物有機(jī)體的體中大約含有5:1，000，000的殺蟲(chóng)劑（這數(shù)字大約是投放水中的最高濃度的250倍）；食草的魚(yú)類(lèi)體中積累到40:1，000，000到300:1，000，000；食肉魚(yú)類(lèi)的體中積累了最多的殺蟲(chóng)劑成分。一次，一條牛頭魚(yú)體中發(fā)現(xiàn)了2500:1，000，000的驚人的濃度。這是一個(gè)連環(huán)套：大的食肉動(dòng)物吃小的食肉動(dòng)物，小的食肉動(dòng)物吃食草動(dòng)物，食草動(dòng)物吃浮游生物，浮游生物從水中吸收毒藥。 Even more extraordinary discoveries were made later. No trace of DDD could be found in the water shortly after the last application of the chemical. But the poison had not really left the lake; it had merely gone into the fabric of the life the lake supports. Twenty-three months after the chemical treatment had ceased, the plankton still contained as much as 5.3 parts per million. In that interval of nearly two years, successive crops of plankton had flowered and faded away, but the poison, although no longer present in the water, had somehow passed from generation to generation. And it lived on in the animal life of the lake as well. All fish, birds, and frogs examined a year after the chemical applications had ceased still contained DDD. The amount found in the flesh always exceeded by many times the original concentration in the water. Among these living carriers were fish that had hatched nine months after the last DDD application, grebes, and California gulls that had built up concentrations of more than 2000 parts per million. Meanwhile, the nesting colonies of the grebes dwindled - from more than 1000 pairs before the first insecticide treatment to about 30 pairs in 1960. And even the thirty seem to have nested in vain, for no young grebes have been observed on the lake since the last DDD application. 后來(lái)的發(fā)現(xiàn)更是奇特：在向湖水投放最后一次藥品以后不久，水中并沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)絲毫的DDD的痕跡，但是這毒藥并沒(méi)有真正離開(kāi)清水湖，它只不過(guò)是進(jìn)入了靠湖水維持的生命結(jié)構(gòu)里面。在停止用藥23個(gè)月以后，浮游生物仍舊含有5.3:1，000，000濃度的藥品。在那段將近兩年的時(shí)間里，浮游生物花開(kāi)花謝，但是在水中不再存在的毒藥卻不知為什么，在浮游生物中一代一代地傳了下來(lái)。同樣，它也存活在湖中的動(dòng)物生命體中。在停止用藥一年后，所有被檢查的魚(yú)、鳥(niǎo)、和青蛙都含有DDD，而且在它們的體中發(fā)現(xiàn)的含量總是高出原來(lái)向湖中投放的濃度的許多倍。在這些活載體中有上一次投放DDD九個(gè)月后孵出的魚(yú)、西，而在加利福尼亞海鷗的體中積累了高于2，000:1，000，000濃度的藥品。與此同時(shí)，在此作巢的西群從第一次投放殺蟲(chóng)劑前的1，000多對(duì)減少到1960年的30對(duì)左右，而即使這30對(duì)似乎也是徒然作巢，因?yàn)樽詮纳弦淮问褂肈DD以后，湖上就再也沒(méi)有看到小西了。 This whole chain of poisoning, then, seems to rest on a base of minute plants which must have been the original concentrators. But what of the opposite end of the food chain - the human being who, in probable ignorance of all this sequence of events, has rigged his fishing tackle, caught a string of fish from the waters of Clear Lake, and taken them home to fry for his supper? What could a heavy dose of DDD, or perhaps repeated doses, do to him? 這一連串的中毒似乎是取決于最先積聚毒性的細(xì)小植物，然而對(duì)于位于食物鏈的另一端的人類(lèi)又將會(huì)怎么樣呢？他可能根本不知道這一系列的事件，他裝備了魚(yú)具，從清水湖中釣起了一串魚(yú)，帶回家煎了做晚餐。大劑量的DDD，或者是反復(fù)的劑量，對(duì)他又會(huì)造成什么后果呢？ Although the California Department of Public Health professed to see no hazard, nevertheless in 1959 it required that the use of DDD in the lake be stopped. In view of the scientific evidence of the vast biological potency of this chemical, the action seems a minimum safety measure. The physiological effect of DDD is probably unique among insecticides, for it destroys part of the adrenal gland - the cells of the outer layer known as the adrenal cortex, which secretes the hormone cortin. This destructive effect, known since 1948, was at first believed to be confined to dogs, because it was not revealed in such experimental animals as monkeys, rats, or rabbits. It seemed suggestive, however, that DDD produced in dogs a condition very similar to that occurring in man in the presence of Addisons disease. Recent medical research has revealed that DDD does strongly suppress the function of the human adrenal cortex. Its cell destroying capacity is now clinically utilized in the treatment of a rare type of cancer, which develops in the adrenal gland. 雖然加利福尼亞州的公共衛(wèi)生部門(mén)曾聲稱(chēng)沒(méi)有任何危險(xiǎn)，但在1959年，它仍然要求停止向清水湖投放DDD。鑒于這種藥品經(jīng)科學(xué)證明具有巨大的生物效力，這種措施看起來(lái)是起碼的安全措施。在殺蟲(chóng)劑中，DDD的生理效果可能是獨(dú)一無(wú)二的，因?yàn)樗輾Я瞬糠帜I上腺，就是分泌皮質(zhì)荷爾蒙的腎皮質(zhì)的外層細(xì)胞。自1948年這種摧毀力為人們所知以來(lái)，它起初被認(rèn)為只限于作用在狗身上，因?yàn)樗诤镒?、老鼠、兔子這樣的實(shí)驗(yàn)動(dòng)物身上并沒(méi)有體現(xiàn)出來(lái)。然而DDD在狗身上造成了一種與人患有阿狄森氏病非常相似的癥狀，這是很有啟發(fā)性的。最近的醫(yī)學(xué)研究表明DDD確實(shí)具有強(qiáng)烈抑制了人類(lèi)腎上皮質(zhì)的作用，它的這種摧毀細(xì)胞的能力已經(jīng)在治療一種生于腎上腺的罕見(jiàn)癌癥上得到臨床使用。 Unit2 TextA It was a very happy funeral, a great success. Even the sun shone that day for the late Henry Ground. Lying in his coffin, he was probably enjoying himself too. Once more, and for the last time on this earth, he was the centre of attention. Yes, it was a very jolly affair. People laughed and told each other jokes. Relatives who had not spoken for years smiled at each other and promised to stay in touch. And, of course, everyone had a favourite story to tell about Henry. 這是一個(gè)非常歡快的葬禮，一個(gè)巨大的成功。就連天上的太陽(yáng)都為剛剛過(guò)世的亨利格蘭德?tīng)N爛地照耀著。躺在棺材里的亨利或許也在欣賞自己。在這個(gè)世界里最后一次，他，亨利又一次成為人們關(guān)注的中心。是的，這真是一件非常愉快的事情。人們笑著，彼此講著笑話。多少年不來(lái)往的親戚們相互微笑著，承諾今后保持聯(lián)絡(luò)。并且，當(dāng)然，每個(gè)人都有自己最為得意的關(guān)于亨利的笑話。 "I was once having dinner with him in a posh restaurant. When the wine-waiter brought the wine, he poured a drop into Henrys glass and waited with a superior expression on his face, as if to sayTaste it, you peasant. Its clear that you know nothing about wine. So Henry, instead of tasting it, the way any normal person would do, dipped his thumb and forefinger into the wine. Then he put his hand to his ear and rolled his forefinger and thumb together as if he were listening to the quality of the wine! Then he nodded to the wine-waiter solemnly, as if to say Yes, thats fine. You may serve it. You should have seen the wine-waiters face! And how Henry managed to keep a straight face, Ill never know!" "有一次我們倆在一家豪華的飯店吃飯。送酒的服務(wù)生走過(guò)來(lái)，倒了一點(diǎn)酒到亨利的杯子里，然后等在一旁，滿(mǎn)臉高人一等的表情，仿佛在說(shuō)：嘗嘗吧，鄉(xiāng)巴佬。很顯然你根本不了解葡萄酒。亨利沒(méi)有去嘗酒，在這種場(chǎng)合人們通常都會(huì)嘗一下。而他卻用拇指和食指在酒里沾了一下，接著把手放到耳邊，捻動(dòng)起食指和拇指，仿佛在聆聽(tīng)酒的質(zhì)量。之后他朝送酒的服務(wù)生嚴(yán)肅地點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，仿佛在說(shuō)：是的，不錯(cuò)。你可以上酒了。你真該去看一看那個(gè)服務(wù)生的臉！真不知道亨利怎么能繃著臉忍住不笑的。" "Yes, old Henry loved to pull peoples legs. Once, when he was invited to an exhibition of some abstract modern painters latest work, he managed somehow to get in the day before and turn all the paintings upside down. The exhibition ran for four days before anyone noticed!"... "是啊，老亨利就是愛(ài)捉弄人。有一次，他被邀請(qǐng)去參觀一個(gè)現(xiàn)代抽象派畫(huà)家的近期作品展覽，他居然設(shè)法提前一天進(jìn)入展覽館，把所有的畫(huà)都顛倒過(guò)來(lái)。結(jié)果畫(huà)展進(jìn)行了四天，楞沒(méi)有人發(fā)現(xiàn)?！? The stories went on even while the coffin was being lowered into the grave. People held handkerchiefs to their eyes, but their tears were tears of laughter, not sadness. Afterwards, there was a funeral breakfast, by invitation only. It was attended by twelve of Henrys closest friends. Henry Ground had asked his brother, Colin, to read out his will during the funeral breakfast. Everyone was curious about Henry Grounds will. Henry had been in debt all his life, hadnt he? What could he possibly have to leave in a will? 笑話一個(gè)接著一個(gè)，連棺材被放入墓穴時(shí)都沒(méi)有停止。人們拿手帕去擦臉、擦眼睛，擦掉的不是悲傷的眼淚，而是笑出的眼淚。稍后，是葬禮早餐，只有接到請(qǐng)柬的人能夠參加。出席者是亨利的十二位最好的朋友。亨利格蘭德曾囑咐弟弟柯林在葬禮早餐上宣讀他的遺囑。每個(gè)人都想知道亨利的遺囑會(huì)是什么內(nèi)容。亨利可是一輩子債臺(tái)高筑，不是嗎？他的遺囑里還能留什么東西？ Colin cleared his throat. "Ahem! If you are ready, ladies and gentlemen." Everyone settled down expectantly. Colin opened the will, and began to read it out in a singsong voice. 柯林清了清嗓子，"呃哼！你們都準(zhǔn)備好了吧，女士們，先生們。"每個(gè)人都安靜下來(lái)，期待著。柯林打開(kāi)遺囑，開(kāi)始一板一眼地大聲宣讀： "I, Henry Ground, being of sound mind... last will and testament... do hereby bequeath..." "我，亨利格蘭德，心智正?！亓⑦z囑……將此傳與……" The legal phrases rolled on and on, and the audience grew impatient to get to the important part. It came soon enough. When Colin announced that Henry Ground, despite his reputation as a good-for-nothing, had invested his money very wisely, and was in fact worth at least three-quarters of a million, everyone gasped. But who was going to get it? Eyes narrowed and throats went dry. 法律術(shù)語(yǔ)滾滾而來(lái)，聽(tīng)眾有些不耐煩，急著聽(tīng)關(guān)鍵的部分。很快就到了。當(dāng)柯林宣布亨利格蘭德雖然聲名不好，一直被認(rèn)為游手好閑，一事無(wú)成，但卻聰明地將錢(qián)做了投資，現(xiàn)在實(shí)際上有價(jià)值至少七十五萬(wàn)的遺產(chǎn)時(shí)，每個(gè)人都倒吸了一口氣。不過(guò)，誰(shuí)將得到這筆錢(qián)呢？所有人的眼睛都瞇起來(lái)，喉嚨開(kāi)始發(fā)干。 "You are all such dear friends of mine," Colin went on, reading out Henry Grounds words in a monotone, which, in other circumstances, would have sent everyone to sleep, "that I cannot decide which of you to leave my money to." Colin paused. In the silence, you could have heard a pin drop. He resumed. "So, dear friends, I have set you a little competition. Each of you in turn must tell the funniest joke he or she can think of, and the one who gets the most laughter will inherit my fortune. Colin will be the sole judge of the best joke." "你們都是我這么好的朋友，"柯林接著往下讀著亨利格蘭德的遺言，那種單調(diào)的語(yǔ)調(diào)，換任何別的場(chǎng)合早叫人聽(tīng)得睡著了。"我真無(wú)法決定該將我的錢(qián)留給你們當(dāng)中的哪一個(gè)。"柯林停頓了一下。周?chē)黄良牛怯懈樀舻降厣弦材苈?tīng)得見(jiàn)。他接著念道，"所以，親愛(ài)的朋友們，我給你們?cè)O(shè)立了一場(chǎng)小小的比賽。你們每個(gè)人都要輪流講一個(gè)你認(rèn)為最滑稽的笑話。誰(shuí)的笑話得到的笑聲最多，誰(shuí)將繼承我的財(cái)產(chǎn)?？铝謱⒆鳛槲┮徊门?，遴選出最佳笑話。" "So, ladies and gentlemen," said Colin, putting the will down on the table, "its up to you now. Who will go first? May I suggest that you go in alphabetical order of surnames?" "所以，女士們，先生們，"柯林把遺囑放在桌上，說(shuō)道，"現(xiàn)在全看你們的了。誰(shuí)第一個(gè)講呢？我可不可以建議你們按姓氏字母順序進(jìn)行呢？" The first person stood up and told a very funny joke about an Englishman who fell in love with his umbrella. When he finished, he was in tears o